Seven months ago I volunteered to participate in a drug study at CAMH. It looked at the effect of genetics on anxiety and mood disorders.
Now the chemicals in my brain are returning slowly to their normal levels, and I feel like robot girl, learning how to manage her emotions for the first time.
I hadn't realized how much the treatment dampened my feelings. I did feel a little robotic occasionally, but in general I felt calmer and more logical. Like a Vulcan, but friendlier and without the ears and the sweet-ass nerve pinch...
Lately I've felt like a superball in a room full of kids who just ate birthday cake.
Here's hoping that things level off soon.
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Last night a DJ shaved my wife.
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3 comments:
see how it goes. it's amazing with those pills how they don't seem to be doing much until you stop taking them and realize how irritable, moody, unstable and irrational you really are.
50% vulcan is a good thing to be.
i'm not a pusher but i'm also not a pharmaceutical company conspiracy theorist. sometimes taking medicine brings us back to our natural state. sometimes it takes us somewhere entirely different. keep a little 'journal' to map the circulation of your moods.
the beast is right,
keep a journal while you are on and off these pills. then read it later and decide which person you'd rather spend the rest of your life with.
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