When life gives you lemons...

Learn how to convert images into ascii art . I like to imagine the scene at 8:30 tomorrow morning when she gets a load of The Boss in his finest form. Letter form.

Loving You Ain't Easy

Appropriate and Inappropriate. It seems to be the theme this year.
I've been adjusting to a more 'relaxed' work environment than I'm usually comfortable with. I've had to take an online harassment prevention course. I've been assessing and reassessing my own limits and standards, and find myself floating without any landmarks except my feelings.
As a high school student, I hung around with the boys. I didn't feel connected to most of the girls, we didn't share common interests, and I found them hard to understand. Instead of being confident and opinionated, I often let their ideas guide my own about my gender. I became hyper-aware of becoming a stereotype--the giggly, sheltered flower--the overbearing mother--the downer girlfriend--the high-drama, shrieking female.
I learnt what they liked and didn't like about women, physically and socially, and their ideas (poor 16 year olds) to an extent became mine. I always felt men to be more honest than women--their method of communicating easier to understand, with fewer things insinuated or communicated indirectly. There were fewer social conventions to keep up and, for someone like me, fewer chances to be misunderstood and singled out.
As an adult, I still find relationships with women difficult. I feel like there is a layer to all of them that I just can't fully read. I'm trying hard to learn to trust people of all genders, and not to judge myself based on old paranoia.
I find sometimes that these stereotypes factor so much into my idea of self that it's difficult to act without feeling like I'm acting out a role.
How to be accommodating without being self-negating.
How to be assertive without summoning up my inner harpy.
How to react to people of all genders as individuals...not as symbols of Patriarchy or sexism, or as archetypes.
How to command respect while respecting harmony.

The Machine Girl

I completely missed any hype around this movie.

I decided that I wanted to see it based on a short description of the plot (schoolgirl loses arm, arm is replaced with machine gun, schoolgirl gets revenge) and hoped there would be tickets for the midnight screening. It just seemed too weird to be real.
After a brief Crispin Glover related delay and some technical problems, the show started.

The first scene was a perfect introduction to the genre for me. I remember seeing Kill Bill, with it's cheesy, fake spurting wounds and being puzzled. I think that this film is the type that he was paying tribute to. Possibly the most ridiculous horror movie I've ever seen.

It was awesome.

Vomit, ninjas, people being sawed into pieces, corny dialogue, B-style special effects formulaic training and fight montages, and a saucy schoolgirl.

Sitting in the dark and hearing everyone around me laughing at the cartoony violence was a little surreal at first, but I was mostly okay with what was going on...it was so over the top. Researching the film after seeing it, I found out that two of the actresses are Japanese Adult Video stars, which made the whole thing even more interesting. With its sexy amputee star, all of the panty shots and the torture scenes, this film is a fetishists bloody wet dream. 6.5/10

Desmond Morris' The Human Sexes - 1 - Equal But Different

This is part of a parallel post assignment with Peter.
The first section of this six part series hypothesizes which traits of gender are learned and which are innate. I say hypothesizes because although Mr. Morris is an impressively accomplished gentleman, he doesn't claim to know it all. When he describes traits that he believes are inherently male or female, or a product of our different gender roles acting on our evolution, he is careful in his phrasing. This 'might' 'may' 'could' explain human behaviour.
His background as someone who has studied the reproductive behaviours of plants, insects and mammals for most of his adult life is the screen through which he filters the information he has gathered about similarities and differences between the sexes around the world.
Wikipedia's article on Morris directed me to also read the article on Sociobiology, which was very helpful in understanding Desi's perspective. It is not the final word on gender and culture, but series of educated therefores that are plausible and entertaining, and make the viewer rethink their own behaviours.
What I enjoy most about the series is Morris and the editor's sense of humour. A couple of scenes combine image and exposition in almost hilarious ways. Example:
A minute long shot of this little girl cooing to and kissing her horse with Desmond in the background saying "It could be argued that the horses, by virtue of their strength, represent a male element in the lives of these soon to be sexually active young women." And another shot:
This one accompanied Desmond describing his idea that grandmothers are more useful than grandfathers, and that this is the cause for women outliving men by several years. Tough luck, Nonno. I feel that by calling this episode 'equal but different' he tries to respect the role of women in primitive life, and how that role might have crafted the position that women hold in society today. He doesn't address the level of worth attached to these 'equal but different' roles throughout history, and it's effect on women all over the world.
While I definitely don't agree with everything he says, I think that his ideas about differences in physiology are interesting. I think that his presentation only touches on some subjects that can't be fully explored through the lens he uses to present them, and that deserve their own shows. Strange how I found the scenes of Mardi Gras made me uncomfortable, while the scenes of strip clubs did not.