S.O.S

I've been infected.

Days off should be for fun, not for fevers and mucous. For being productive and having coffee with a book in a sunny window.

Send over soup. Stat.

But for your own good, leave it at the door.

My Imagination is a Garden

Unfortunately, it sometimes seems as though it's trapped behind a fence, on private property.

Last night, as I was falling asleep, I came up with a melodic drum sequence. Each beat had a different note and depth, imagined on different types of drums, creating a wonderful, repetitive melody.
Do the drums in my mind even exist in the physical world?
I imagine scenes and drawings that are beautiful, and beyond the ability of my meat-self to make a reality.
Sometimes the distance between the creativity possible in my imagination and the reality of physical limitations seems impossible to traverse.
I find it a fascinating, discouraging, wonderful part of being alive.

Reverse Motivation or Earth to Steve Jobs

Motivation. I suffer from a habitual lack of it.
I'm not a complete slouch, but I've often found it difficult to begin things, even though I consider myself a fairly creative person. I fill with excitement at the prospect of a new adventure in creativity, but a combination of things seem to deter and distract me.
Most motivational speeches don't appeal to me. I feel as though they fill me with sentiment and energy that are only temporary, and I've never heard one that I can remember that's left a lasting mark.
I recently heard a commencement speech that Steve Jobs gave to the 2005 graduating class at Stanford, and I thought about it for days afterward. The title of this post is a link to the full text of the speech.
The part that got under my skin was when he said
"...for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today? And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something."
This line dug at me, and bothered me over the next few days. I thought: not everyone is you Steve Jobs. For many of those 33 years, you've lived a privileged life, with many options open to you that aren't possibilities for average people.
You're white, you're male, and you've had money for a long time now. How dare you imply that it's easy for people in other situations to throw off everything and change?
As I thought about it more, and became more angry, I realized that Steve Jobs' attitude really was motivating me, but not for the reasons that he intended.
For me, a good motivator is often anger. I remember a professor at York, one that I thought was amazing, giving me a copy of 'A Room Of One's Own' by Virginia Woolfe. At first I was pleased that he gave me something that he thought would help in my development. Looking back on it shortly after, I started to feel insulted.
Did this man think he knew me...? Or did he just think he knew where I might be in my development as a young woman?
Either way, he pissed me off. And, juvenile as this is, I find this kind of thing to be a source of motivation far more powerful than any poster or speech could be.

The Blues

Tried to make me some lunch,
but the kitchen was occupied.

Started to do my cooking,
didn't have the right spice.

Went out my door,
the sidewalk was covered in ice.

Panhandler on the street,
mumbled offensive words my way.

Off to the grocery store,
went to pay, but forgot my wallet.

Back in the kitchen,
all the pots and pans are in the sink dirty.

Things aren't going exactly my way,
I'll just sit in my room and pout.

I got the city-living, spoiled brat, nothin' s really that wrong blues.

Jodha Akbar or 3 Hours in the Dark

I was a bit intimidated at the prospect of watching an Indian movie in the theatre. I'm definitely a fan of classic Bollywood, but I usually watch it on Saturday morning television, where I have the option to get up and go to the grocery store, make breakfast, clean the bathroom, and catch up with the film at my leisure.
I wondered if I'd be able to sit through a 3+ hour film without getting bored or antsy.
Jodha Akbar is the story of a ruler of the Mughal Empire
who is remembered for his tolerant view of religion and his contribution to the arts.
I'm not really crazy about schmaltzy, romantic films (don't tell me you're surprised) and was happy to find that this film was more of a historical drama. The plot was complex, with unending deceptions and misunderstandings, but was pretty easy to follow, and kept my interest. There was a lot of fighting, but a lot of the more brutal violence was depicted with subtlety. What most surprised me was the music in the film. There were only two or three long, choreographed musical sequences, and they weren't overly sentimental. The music sounded traditional but contemporary, and Aishwarya only sang one long number.
There were scenes which I felt were very sexy, and although couples in Indian movies seem never to kiss or go to bed together, I felt that the tension between Akbar and Jodha was built well, and culminated in a satisfying way.

My only complaints:
The score was a bit cheesy. At times, the music was so tense and dramatic that it made Akbar seem like a serial killer.
The large battles had a few gaps in them (I happen to be a picky jerk about epic fight scenes).
The film seemed to be trying to cover all the main genres at once, and fell shy of completely satisfying any of them. Not enough music to be a musical, not in depth enough to be really educational, and not enough action to be a straight action movie. At the same time, I was entertained all the way through. Perhaps there's a lot more to learn about Indian cinema.
Tip: pack a lunch if you go see this in the theatre.