I was the mother last time

Why don't you have the baby?

I will be upwardly mobile.

I'll take my fancy education,

and bring us home a hundred grand.

We'll get ourselves a big 'ol house,

we'll care for junior in style, and you

can do your thing until you're satisfied.

Leggo

How cliche are symbolic gestures? They're so much a part of our culture, they've become so tired that any personal meaning they might have had has been sapped.

I've found myself too often lately dwelling on resentments and unresolved feelings from my recent past. The problem with these kind of feelings, for me, is that time doesn't necessarily make them easier to handle or duller.
It sometimes takes me a very long time to process things-that's a problem I have.
It seems that I find events too complicated or to dangerous to process and my mind holds onto them for later. Either that, or I look back on them with new eyes as I grow and change.

I'm not an unlucky or an unhappy person. Just the opposite, I feel better about my life than I have in a long time. I'm stimulated by work and school, and have a partner who I love and am very proud of. A domestic but generally happy life, and the best I can do for right now.
I wish I could pack up all of the things that I feel resentment, hurt, and anger for and throw them into the sea or crush them like a car in a wrecking yard. Appropriately, every earthly analogy I can think of for what to do with how I feel highlights the fact that these feelings don't actually go away.
I started this post thinking that I could compose an exorcism, but now I'm not so sure.

Take Your Bags and Shove 'em

Now that things have come to a stop, however briefly, I'd like to take the opportunity to express my dislike for the term 'unpacking'. I've only started hearing this term used to describe taking apart and analyzing an idea or text since I started grad school.


Whenever I hear it, I think of people on airplanes with rolling luggage, removing items one by one to reveal whatever looked suspicious on the x-ray.









I think of something roughly and rudely rammed into a too-small container.



Worst of all, I think of...of business school. Is that what I'm doing with myself now? Am I in business school? This type of jargon makes me fear that I am.

High school was all about juxtaposing and
simulacra. University was about context and worldview, meta- and post-.

Information studies borrows from other fields or makes due with combined words: access, informatics, and closure. Unpacking seems to have been borrowed from linguistics?

Dear teach,
examine, explain, analyze, interpret or pick apart, but don't unpack because I won't be joining you.

Growth...or Regression?

5 years ago I saw this place peeking out from behind several other hideous buildings.
I found out that it was a love hotel decorated as though it were X-mas every day.
I thought it was one of the silliest things I had ever heard. What kind of weirdo wants to f%&k in such a tacky, wasteful place?
I thought "The Japanese are a very strange people that I will never understand."
Now I'm beginning to see the appeal. The problem is, I don't feel that I've changed that much. What's different? Do I take myself less seriously and therefore have a more playful and wondering attitude about everything?
Am I developing a fetish?
Are they just way ahead of me on the curve (as they are with many other things) or have I fallen behind?

A Poem

Come find me,
I'm lonely.
I live in
The Li'bry

There's nothing
To hold me
Except for
The ivy